Lately I've been noticing that a lot of people in Thunder Bay hate Winnipeg. Which I took as a simple jest and poke; as a little brother pokes fun at his "jerk" of an older brother, or as Manitobans treat and talk about Saskatcheweners. We, the proud Peg city dwellers, being unaware of the biases towards us treat the situation with indifference, because of the weak and hardly audible voices of our insignificant counter parts (ie Thunder Bay). Now if you're a proud Manitoban you'll still be hung up over how I refereed to Saskatchewan as the 'bigger brother' (not in pop. 'being the bigger man') which sits strange for me as well, but if you've ever conversed with those strange Saskers (ones that haven't lived in Winnipeg and had to grow a hyper provincial pride) it's the shaking of a fist at a stranger who knew no problem. Lately though I've been realized that these quaint home town rivalries don't parallel the Thunder Bay hate.
This past week my pastor had a sermon where he linked the wanderers laments of the Hebrews peoples Exodus through the desert to the desolation he felt on the banks of the red river. I was willing to hear his story out and wait patiently but when he started quoting the weakerthans in stateing..... 'I hate Winnipeg' I felt it was me time to interject, and so some gentle boo*ing set him straight and the sermon back on tracks. Its funny I had no trouble on minus forty nights walking down Portage or back up Spence from school singing that song that curses peg city, but as soon as others trash on where you're from the fists come up........ however I've been having a hard time raising fists to some of the last complaints on Winnipeg I've come across.
Almost ever kid (that I've met through the centre) that has some brief affiliation with Winnipeg has horror stories to tell. Seriously crazy shit! Brothers joining gangs and never being heard from again, guns being pulled on friends or near anyone, theft on full families, burning of houses with full families, abduction, rape and just this last week I listened to two different accounts of youths having witnessed their friends murders; all in Winnipeg. Straight up cliche stuff that you kind of know "happens" but your 'better' or 'convenient judgment' convinces you else wise. 'April Raintree' or 'Under the Ribs of Death' stuff; both the only books I know written about Winnipeg both with the greater theme being death.
My 'better' or 'sound judgment' is telling me to cut in and let you all know that I got clearance from the individuals who shared these events with me to share them with you all. However now I'm having a hard time communicating the bitterness of the concluding remarks of one of the last Winnipeg conversation I had... it ended along the lines of ............ "I'll never go back to that city".
I seriously still don't want to believe half of terrible things that I've heard about Winnipeg, and actually acknowledge the dichotomy that city has. I know that these things happen in all sorts of major urban centres, but to know that I lived in that city for a year and a half (not avoiding 'rough' areas but intentionally moving to them) and still haven't been able to crack the core of the city and help from within the hurt, seems rather sad.
I feel insulated by status or notoriety. Which I take as great blessings I've done little to nothing to receive. I'm not by any means trying to strip away all that I've been given to give (blessed to bless) in the order of an unbias sterile education of poverty, that would just be building an insincere mask of poverty in order to 'relate' and not give credence to the fact that I will probably always have consistent family/state of mind that will be willing to help me out of pockets of poverty I might reside in. I just want to help from within the hurt. Which I believe is a Biblical/Honest model.
I'm not sure when I'll be called back to Winnipeg again but it's something that sort of scares me. It's a complicated fear. Its the fear of urban dissidence. Spending my time entertaining myself or making money to entertain myself. It would just feel unnatural avoiding all of the issues that I know occur in Winnipeg. I'm not saying I'm the saviour for a city by any means, it would just feel, I don't know unnatural. Kind of like seedless watermelon or a developed shore line, there's something behind that's not sustainable, full or completely sincere.
Like I said it's a complicated fear. Its the fear of feeling like we all; living in the south end or being the fringes sitters of Winnipeg.... hex even those in our trendy downtown, are doing exactly as 'Sam K.' refers, and 'are' that golden business boy/girl watching the North end die. (Sam K. being the writer of 'One Great City'(song earlier mentioned))
I'm not trying to write as a judgemental outsider who sees all that's wrong with 'that place'. I'm acknowledging that I'm a Winnipeger that has played along with the apartheid that we keep with-in our perimeter.
I've been writing the word 'feel' several times throughout this entry and I don't intend to. What I'm trying to communicate is something beyond feeling -- that is meaning.
There was a random man that Jesus loved. He obeyed the commandments and Jesus loved him. Then Jesus said...... 'give to the poor'.
I'm assuming that you all who are reading this can understand with me that what is meant by 'give to the poor' is not a cop out for 'give to the poor in 'spirit' ' and skip the sacrifice so that I can go for a round at the links and witness to my friend at the country club.
I'm assuming that you can read Jesus' words for what they were.....
Your body your mind your emotion and soul ...... "give to the poor"
Mark 10 NIV
post script ... I got clearance from individuals to share these views/experiences 'on Winnipeg' before I wrote them down.
