Tuesday, November 3, 2009

Swiss Mennoniteo!


It's time I wrote a word about my Swiss brethren....
Looking back on the many a road that this life has lead me down there is one thing I've realized will always be identified as... A Mennonite.
I'm not saying this with any distaste by any means but right now I'm sitting with a bit of a culture clash among my Mennonite family.

You see, I've been to Paraguay, Belize and back and can fit my way into which and whatever stream I'd like to identify my self as. But this last year I've come to know and love another break away baby of our dear Father/Mother Mans/Grebal. Although we were separated at birth this is my Swiss brethren.

There's a good number of roots radical Mennonites spread through out and within out great Northern Canada. At first glance I thought that many of them may be 'black bumper', Reindlander or whatever other sub sub break off church we might want to label our selves as. At first I was guilty of throwing down the broad label of 'conservative' Now I've come to know them as so socially conscientious and terribly sincere brothers and sisters who rigorously live to break barriers to make brothers and sister of those who need a want family. It's such a stupid thing to stigmatize a head covering and over look such solid individuals giving up their whole lives for a Northern people I've come to love. I'm not talking about or simple summer camps or legitimate MCC projects but rather giving up a life once known to build, contribute and plant redemption to a community where the wreckage of hurt and untrust linger.

There's some things a lot more innocent and honest about these Pennsyvana/KitchenerWaterloo Mennonites. It's ... its hard to say exactly what it is but I think it's just an honest love for GOD's heart and finding themselves in a place where GOD's heart is going out too. It didn't take years of suicide statistics or the occasional foster kid trickling down to our white south to call them to the north .....it was where GOD's heart was before during and after the evils of residential schools. So legitimate GENERAtions of Northern Mennonites have lived and loved in much of the farther north for so so long. Not in a stagnant colonial duplicate life but marring, sharing and just living till honesty and trust prevailed over systemic separation. It was an awesome day when one of the 'to my eyes' native kids was so stoked to find out she was distant cousins with a Swiss (Kitchener) Menno volunteer.

The Mennonite Game lives on through Apartheid!

Back to that pervasive honesty. I think it comes, in part, from being who they are and not trying or caring to be 'cool' or particularly relevant. I think the Church and Western (Russian) Mennonites particularly have been trying so hard to be accepted by common society that they've become slick and sterile and in many ways striped of what our defining feature is, our first Love! GOD and the truth of the gospel.

It makes far more sense, to me, to prove your love to someone by talking, sharing and honestly speaking from your love relationship (with Christ)than first putting on your cultural mask and demographic makeup and convincing one that you're a part of them and then talking about Christ and how great HE is.

That's what I think they've got ........... a strong personal/social Christ identity.

Wednesday, October 21, 2009

Do you love me?


"Do you love me....?"

"No, do you love me?"

"Yeah, but do you love me?"

Not how much do you love me. Not in what ways do you love me. Not even are you willing to learn to love me. Do you straight up love me?

"Yes"

"Yes, I love you."

"Jesus, you know all things you know I fricking love you"

"Then feed my sheep.
If you want to be a child the rest of your life go on. If you want to 'look good' and follow fashion like and infant mind, be my guest. If you want to span the globe to see places that amaze you like a spoiled kid with an attention deficit, go right on. But I will sincerely doubt your love for me if you don't feed those starving scattered sheep. The time has come to an end when you could do whatever you want.

My sheep and lambs need love and care."

John 21

Monday, September 14, 2009

Lets all hate Winnipeg!!!


Lately I've been noticing that a lot of people in Thunder Bay hate Winnipeg. Which I took as a simple jest and poke; as a little brother pokes fun at his "jerk" of an older brother, or as Manitobans treat and talk about Saskatcheweners. We, the proud Peg city dwellers, being unaware of the biases towards us treat the situation with indifference, because of the weak and hardly audible voices of our insignificant counter parts (ie Thunder Bay). Now if you're a proud Manitoban you'll still be hung up over how I refereed to Saskatchewan as the 'bigger brother' (not in pop. 'being the bigger man') which sits strange for me as well, but if you've ever conversed with those strange Saskers (ones that haven't lived in Winnipeg and had to grow a hyper provincial pride) it's the shaking of a fist at a stranger who knew no problem. Lately though I've been realized that these quaint home town rivalries don't parallel the Thunder Bay hate.

This past week my pastor had a sermon where he linked the wanderers laments of the Hebrews peoples Exodus through the desert to the desolation he felt on the banks of the red river. I was willing to hear his story out and wait patiently but when he started quoting the weakerthans in stateing..... 'I hate Winnipeg' I felt it was me time to interject, and so some gentle boo*ing set him straight and the sermon back on tracks. Its funny I had no trouble on minus forty nights walking down Portage or back up Spence from school singing that song that curses peg city, but as soon as others trash on where you're from the fists come up........ however I've been having a hard time raising fists to some of the last complaints on Winnipeg I've come across.

Almost ever kid (that I've met through the centre) that has some brief affiliation with Winnipeg has horror stories to tell. Seriously crazy shit! Brothers joining gangs and never being heard from again, guns being pulled on friends or near anyone, theft on full families, burning of houses with full families, abduction, rape and just this last week I listened to two different accounts of youths having witnessed their friends murders; all in Winnipeg. Straight up cliche stuff that you kind of know "happens" but your 'better' or 'convenient judgment' convinces you else wise. 'April Raintree' or 'Under the Ribs of Death' stuff; both the only books I know written about Winnipeg both with the greater theme being death.

My 'better' or 'sound judgment' is telling me to cut in and let you all know that I got clearance from the individuals who shared these events with me to share them with you all. However now I'm having a hard time communicating the bitterness of the concluding remarks of one of the last Winnipeg conversation I had... it ended along the lines of ............ "I'll never go back to that city".

I seriously still don't want to believe half of terrible things that I've heard about Winnipeg, and actually acknowledge the dichotomy that city has. I know that these things happen in all sorts of major urban centres, but to know that I lived in that city for a year and a half (not avoiding 'rough' areas but intentionally moving to them) and still haven't been able to crack the core of the city and help from within the hurt, seems rather sad.

I feel insulated by status or notoriety. Which I take as great blessings I've done little to nothing to receive. I'm not by any means trying to strip away all that I've been given to give (blessed to bless) in the order of an unbias sterile education of poverty, that would just be building an insincere mask of poverty in order to 'relate' and not give credence to the fact that I will probably always have consistent family/state of mind that will be willing to help me out of pockets of poverty I might reside in. I just want to help from within the hurt. Which I believe is a Biblical/Honest model.

I'm not sure when I'll be called back to Winnipeg again but it's something that sort of scares me. It's a complicated fear. Its the fear of urban dissidence. Spending my time entertaining myself or making money to entertain myself. It would just feel unnatural avoiding all of the issues that I know occur in Winnipeg. I'm not saying I'm the saviour for a city by any means, it would just feel, I don't know unnatural. Kind of like seedless watermelon or a developed shore line, there's something behind that's not sustainable, full or completely sincere.

Like I said it's a complicated fear. Its the fear of feeling like we all; living in the south end or being the fringes sitters of Winnipeg.... hex even those in our trendy downtown, are doing exactly as 'Sam K.' refers, and 'are' that golden business boy/girl watching the North end die. (Sam K. being the writer of 'One Great City'(song earlier mentioned))

I'm not trying to write as a judgemental outsider who sees all that's wrong with 'that place'. I'm acknowledging that I'm a Winnipeger that has played along with the apartheid that we keep with-in our perimeter.

I've been writing the word 'feel' several times throughout this entry and I don't intend to. What I'm trying to communicate is something beyond feeling -- that is meaning.

There was a random man that Jesus loved. He obeyed the commandments and Jesus loved him. Then Jesus said...... 'give to the poor'.

I'm assuming that you all who are reading this can understand with me that what is meant by 'give to the poor' is not a cop out for 'give to the poor in 'spirit' ' and skip the sacrifice so that I can go for a round at the links and witness to my friend at the country club.

I'm assuming that you can read Jesus' words for what they were.....

Your body your mind your emotion and soul ...... "give to the poor"




Mark 10 NIV
post script ... I got clearance from individuals to share these views/experiences 'on Winnipeg' before I wrote them down.

Tuesday, September 1, 2009

...... a novel.



And a quick stop off at home to say goodbye to family and friends then back to the bay to 'back woods' 'the giant'.

......I just painted .....


So I drifted the rails to Chi-town to listen to some 'cool toons' and ponder under an afternoon streetlight at the simple love of my brothers hippie/punk commune.

Wednesday, August 26, 2009

...... well then maybe .......







Then I got fed up with the pretentious art scene and left for South Ont and a family get together.

If pictures paint a thousand words




I was in Montreal for 1 week