Thunder Bayo to Winnipego

--- picture --- ...my goodbye card from the yc crew

Over the last two years I've had the honor of working as the full time cooridnator and then Director of 'New Hope Youth Centre' "NHYC to provide the best outreach for Thunder Bays First Nation Youth, empowering through life-giving relationships". Over this time I've fallen deeply in love with Native culture and people and thank our creator for the deep vein of gospel/cultural heritage and family I've found myself within. These New Hopers have given me a faith I can believe a salvation from consumer Christianity. In seeing lives being transformed, in knowing Matthew 5 - (beatitude stuff) is true and that GODs kingdom does grow like a weed or mustard seed .... naturally and unrelenting.

Video testament
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9nhXUuVOWbg\

Each of these peeps have had a real and intense touch of the spirit in their lives that I'd love to tell you about. So ask.

Now after my term of two years is up, my wagon heads west to Winnipeg.
I've spend the last 8 months tying up ends and training current staff (holla Jake) and I'll continue to be partially involved in what I can and fully involved in asking GOD's most awesome blessing on that place and people.

GOD, thank YOU very much for....
- Giving me my calling in Life (making a man out of me - and filling my heart)
- $$ blessings (near 30 grand from Grants/fundraising (some of which was to the dollar what I had brought forward in prayer))
-Lives being Bettered (only through you)

.... continued at..... http://scottinwinnipeg.blogspot.com

Thunder Bay byes

I'm sitting in my near empty apt and all I want to echo from my full and whole heart is...

Mikwec creator and
Mikwec families
for....
prayer
support
money
food


for the chance at sharing life and love with these most amazing people.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9nhXUuVOWbg....

I'll revise when I'm not so tired.

money makes me _____

Words to sponsors, GST receipts are out and if you don't already have yours please inquire.

A word to my sponsors. Thank you very much for helping me find and live in this best right place. In so many ways it's been clear that this is where I've be needed to be. That my heart is content being kind to those who are not overly accustomed to it.

Thinking back to the daily country road drive home I took when I was a kid, I can remember having random freak outs for no apparent reason, other than discontentment at the absurdity and monotony of life. Weird that a 10 year old would already find life so dull and disappointing. Not that every day was especially bad, it just didn't have the meaning or adventure that I was sure life should have. Anyway, by the time I was in China at 19 I realized that monotony didn't need to be a staple to life which I needed to bitterly swallow but rather...."that the core of mans spirit comes from new experiences" and that those experiences weren't just a passer by's view of earth existence but knowing hearing and helping others with heart issues. All this to say, thank you working class sponsors for your financial blessing and the culture of generosity I've been able to live within for the last two years.


Money's a crazy thing....
It's only worth as much as we believe. It's completely subject to what we believe about it with no tangible use at all. That is, bits of paper and stamped metal have are pointless unless it’s collectively agreed that they have a use. I don't have a problem with money or ppl with a lot or a little of it. It’s just interesting is all. It's completely societal, I'm thinking most present societies have had to adopt the use of money and the practicality of using it rather than trade goods. But there are gads of cultures (Anishinaabe for one) that by no means view frugality as a virtue, but would far rather spend their fiver on shared coffee then keep it in the old bill fold. That was one sizeable shocker for a Mennonite mind, It probably shouldn’t have been, after all relationships are a big deal for down homers too but just not putting free money down on relationships like I’ve seen so often up here. The culture shock might have been amplified due to the thrift store sub culture I grew up in, where a successful night consisted of sneaking into a show, scamming free coffee off of a friend working co-op and then soaking it all up on the high school roof top….. the life of the successful poor. There's a lot that I've learned about money since moving to Thunder Bay. Both in understanding how tough it is to run a charitable org on minimal donation base and in the view from the ground in a former pulp paper port town.

I’ve got a story of great injustice to tell you about. It’s about a friend of mine named Jack (Jack isn’t his name but whoever it is, did clear that I could write his story). Jacks mom you’sed to be addicted to drugs and in her addiction did some deceitful things, one of which involved using her sons name to take out a ‘pay day loan’. For those of you who don’t know much about those seedy “fast cash” scams that are polluting near ever strip mall and convenient corner, they are straight usury. They promise up to a $1,500 with no paper work and push the fact that they can get you money in your hand in a minute. It’s illegal in Canada to charge someone over 60% interest (which is already ridicules considering that in most American States the illegal interest rate hovers around 11 or 12%) but payday loans often end up charging obscenely large interest rates that begin within the legal percentage and climb up into the hundred percentile. Payday loans enforce regulations which aren’t easy to police or access knowledge or security within. So often what happens is when the loan gets to a large enough rate they start calling it in. Using terrible tactics (http://www.consumeraffairs.com/news04/fast_cash.html). It’s illegal but systemized (and so tolerable) “loan sharking”. For the most part it’s taking advantage of individuals in a desperate disposition. And this is the story of my friend Jack….. thousands of dollars on a loan that was originally one hundred, all compiled within a short time and which was for the most part unbeknownst.

Government Canada cite on payday loans (http://www.justice.gc.ca/eng/news-nouv/nr-cp/2006/doc_31900.html)




I’ve been processing the idea of getting a loan for studies and so money has been on my mind a lot lately (I’m not planning on getting a pay day loan just so you know).
I need to preface this next paragraph stating that I understand our current financial system works best with debt. I acknowledge that most everyone is in debt to banks etc through mortgages and other payments but I refuse to think that debt is inevitable and I must blindly accept it.

I’m also aware that debt can be a great enabler, putting down a temporal sacrifice in order to further long term opportunity. I want to acknowledge too that Jesus saw a great duty in financial responsibility. In the story of the talents where we are straight up told that…… of what we are given we must multiply…. Or Else! (Matt 25:28-31).

What I don’t want to do through debt though is treat it like like a drug. I’ve seen student loans originally intended for “breathing room” turn into financial false confidence and blatant unnecessary spending. And like a crack addict doing terrible things just to get a next hit, I’ve seen persons in debt forgetting the great gift of giving and placing “financial responsibility” as priority over people. I think that financial responsibility is good but I know that even in my meager means I’m expected to give radically; after all it’s not coincidental that after Jesus told us “we must multiply what we were give” in Mt 25:31 He said in vs 41 to 43 that we can expect hell if we see a need and ignore it.
Given to give blessed to bless…

So thanks sponsors for giving so I could give: countless cups of coffee, a few donations to grass roots orgs and rides to hockey games, hospitals and home.

I may sound like a simpleton, or a boy without a brain, or a man with too much heart but know that I am more than happy throwing coins at those who care for them but living all of me for the one that exposes the mysteries of existence, of which I’m a pioneer.

Act Act Act!!!!! Sun burst through

Sometimes it takes me a while to collect my thoughts and compose my tongue before I can write something worth reading. Other times my heart grabs the bit and pounds out of my chest onto paper and bleeds everything in my arms veins and atrium.

I hope this will be the latter.

When I was a kid I used to spend a lot of time outside. Partly because I would run out of patients with most anything that took 20 min of straight indoor concentration partly because my favorite sibling was our dog. Often when I'd indulge in my outdoor escapism I'd grab my moms camera on the way out. I'd normally take one or two pictures of the grass or our geese or something pointless like that and then take an endless amount of pictures of common clouds. Sometimes high lining stratus but mostly I'd hold out for exploding cumulus clouds that would tower and tumble into each other. I don't think any of the pictures on my moms old film fixed lens were great or even good but I'd always try to take the picture when the clouds would almost crash but let just enough light in between.

I know it's cliche but I never get sick of the 'sun bursting through'!

Whenever I move to a city I seem to retire this pass time.

Now for the blood...

It's so hard for me to count myself a city kid. I don't know if it's just some sort of suburban/rural superiority or city = sin complex or just the strange feeling of belonging I get in open spaces. But it's hard for me to stay in cities for long periods of time. Only turns out the sun busts through our cities concrete and contained trees too. Whether in ........
Bel-mo the young girl at my centre who joined and is helping form our 'Safe Streets' program because she's sick of street violence and her brother getting assaulted or in....
Lynda the community programmer in our poorer fort william core, fighting far passed her paid hours to keep schools and community services from moving to fringe city offices. Which would outsource our collective community and diminish the voice of many disenfranchised or in...
the after school drama team who wrote, directed, publicized their own 'anti drunk driving' drama after a student fell victom to a drunk driver or in....
the high school teachers at tbays Native high school working late at programming in order to try to off set the truth that Native students on average receive two thirds the funds urban white students receive or in...
Marty and the other 15, 16 and 17 year olds who make up the Regional Multicultural Youth Council who routinely write to the local papers trying to make the city aware of inadequate social assistance funding or in....
the countless others that live in and fight through clouds to bust brilliance!

If there's something primordial and spiritually right about connecting to GOD through the land and a rural life there's something unmeasurable spiritual in urban community voices raised like sun bursting through.

Swiss Mennoniteo!

It's time I wrote a word about my Swiss brethren....
Looking back on the many a road that this life has lead me down there is one thing I've realized will always be identified as... A Mennonite.
I'm not saying this with any distaste by any means but right now I'm sitting with a bit of a culture clash among my Mennonite family.

You see, I've been to Paraguay, Belize and back and can fit my way into which and whatever stream I'd like to identify my self as. But this last year I've come to know and love another break away baby of our dear Father/Mother Mans/Grebal. Although we were separated at birth this is my Swiss brethren.

There's a good number of roots radical Mennonites spread through out and within out great Northern Canada. At first glance I thought that many of them may be 'black bumper', Reindlander or whatever other sub sub break off church we might want to label our selves as. At first I was guilty of throwing down the broad label of 'conservative' Now I've come to know them as so socially conscientious and terribly sincere brothers and sisters who rigorously live to break barriers to make brothers and sister of those who need a want family. It's such a stupid thing to stigmatize a head covering and over look such solid individuals giving up their whole lives for a Northern people I've come to love. I'm not talking about or simple summer camps or legitimate MCC projects but rather giving up a life once known to build, contribute and plant redemption to a community where the wreckage of hurt and untrust linger.

There's some things a lot more innocent and honest about these Pennsyvana/KitchenerWaterloo Mennonites. It's ... its hard to say exactly what it is but I think it's just an honest love for GOD's heart and finding themselves in a place where GOD's heart is going out too. It didn't take years of suicide statistics or the occasional foster kid trickling down to our white south to call them to the north .....it was where GOD's heart was before during and after the evils of residential schools. So legitimate GENERAtions of Northern Mennonites have lived and loved in much of the farther north for so so long. Not in a stagnant colonial duplicate life but marring, sharing and just living till honesty and trust prevailed over systemic separation. It was an awesome day when one of the 'to my eyes' native kids was so stoked to find out she was distant cousins with a Swiss (Kitchener) Menno volunteer.

The Mennonite Game lives on through Apartheid!

Back to that pervasive honesty. I think it comes, in part, from being who they are and not trying or caring to be 'cool' or particularly relevant. I think the Church and Western (Russian) Mennonites particularly have been trying so hard to be accepted by common society that they've become slick and sterile and in many ways striped of what our defining feature is, our first Love! GOD and the truth of the gospel.

It makes far more sense, to me, to prove your love to someone by talking, sharing and honestly speaking from your love relationship (with Christ)than first putting on your cultural mask and demographic makeup and convincing one that you're a part of them and then talking about Christ and how great HE is.

That's what I think they've got ........... a strong personal/social Christ identity.

Do you love me?

"Do you love me....?"

"No, do you love me?"

"Yeah, but do you love me?"

Not how much do you love me. Not in what ways do you love me. Not even are you willing to learn to love me. Do you straight up love me?

"Yes"

"Yes, I love you."

"Jesus, you know all things you know I fricking love you"

"Then feed my sheep.
If you want to be a child the rest of your life go on. If you want to 'look good' and follow fashion like and infant mind, be my guest. If you want to span the globe to see places that amaze you like a spoiled kid with an attention deficit, go right on. But I will sincerely doubt your love for me if you don't feed those starving scattered sheep. The time has come to an end when you could do whatever you want.

My sheep and lambs need love and care."

John 21

Lets all hate Winnipeg!!!

Lately I've been noticing that a lot of people in Thunder Bay hate Winnipeg. Which I took as a simple jest and poke; as a little brother pokes fun at his "jerk" of an older brother, or as Manitobans treat and talk about Saskatcheweners. We, the proud Peg city dwellers, being unaware of the biases towards us treat the situation with indifference, because of the weak and hardly audible voices of our insignificant counter parts (ie Thunder Bay). Now if you're a proud Manitoban you'll still be hung up over how I refereed to Saskatchewan as the 'bigger brother' (not in pop. 'being the bigger man') which sits strange for me as well, but if you've ever conversed with those strange Saskers (ones that haven't lived in Winnipeg and had to grow a hyper provincial pride) it's the shaking of a fist at a stranger who knew no problem. Lately though I've been realized that these quaint home town rivalries don't parallel the Thunder Bay hate.

This past week my pastor had a sermon where he linked the wanderers laments of the Hebrews peoples Exodus through the desert to the desolation he felt on the banks of the red river. I was willing to hear his story out and wait patiently but when he started quoting the weakerthans in stateing..... 'I hate Winnipeg' I felt it was me time to interject, and so some gentle boo*ing set him straight and the sermon back on tracks. Its funny I had no trouble on minus forty nights walking down Portage or back up Spence from school singing that song that curses peg city, but as soon as others trash on where you're from the fists come up........ however I've been having a hard time raising fists to some of the last complaints on Winnipeg I've come across.

Almost ever kid (that I've met through the centre) that has some brief affiliation with Winnipeg has horror stories to tell. Seriously crazy shit! Brothers joining gangs and never being heard from again, guns being pulled on friends or near anyone, theft on full families, burning of houses with full families, abduction, rape and just this last week I listened to two different accounts of youths having witnessed their friends murders; all in Winnipeg. Straight up cliche stuff that you kind of know "happens" but your 'better' or 'convenient judgment' convinces you else wise. 'April Raintree' or 'Under the Ribs of Death' stuff; both the only books I know written about Winnipeg both with the greater theme being death.

My 'better' or 'sound judgment' is telling me to cut in and let you all know that I got clearance from the individuals who shared these events with me to share them with you all. However now I'm having a hard time communicating the bitterness of the concluding remarks of one of the last Winnipeg conversation I had... it ended along the lines of ............ "I'll never go back to that city".

I seriously still don't want to believe half of terrible things that I've heard about Winnipeg, and actually acknowledge the dichotomy that city has. I know that these things happen in all sorts of major urban centres, but to know that I lived in that city for a year and a half (not avoiding 'rough' areas but intentionally moving to them) and still haven't been able to crack the core of the city and help from within the hurt, seems rather sad.

I feel insulated by status or notoriety. Which I take as great blessings I've done little to nothing to receive. I'm not by any means trying to strip away all that I've been given to give (blessed to bless) in the order of an unbias sterile education of poverty, that would just be building an insincere mask of poverty in order to 'relate' and not give credence to the fact that I will probably always have consistent family/state of mind that will be willing to help me out of pockets of poverty I might reside in. I just want to help from within the hurt. Which I believe is a Biblical/Honest model.

I'm not sure when I'll be called back to Winnipeg again but it's something that sort of scares me. It's a complicated fear. Its the fear of urban dissidence. Spending my time entertaining myself or making money to entertain myself. It would just feel unnatural avoiding all of the issues that I know occur in Winnipeg. I'm not saying I'm the saviour for a city by any means, it would just feel, I don't know unnatural. Kind of like seedless watermelon or a developed shore line, there's something behind that's not sustainable, full or completely sincere.

Like I said it's a complicated fear. Its the fear of feeling like we all; living in the south end or being the fringes sitters of Winnipeg.... hex even those in our trendy downtown, are doing exactly as 'Sam K.' refers, and 'are' that golden business boy/girl watching the North end die. (Sam K. being the writer of 'One Great City'(song earlier mentioned))

I'm not trying to write as a judgemental outsider who sees all that's wrong with 'that place'. I'm acknowledging that I'm a Winnipeger that has played along with the apartheid that we keep with-in our perimeter.

I've been writing the word 'feel' several times throughout this entry and I don't intend to. What I'm trying to communicate is something beyond feeling -- that is meaning.

There was a random man that Jesus loved. He obeyed the commandments and Jesus loved him. Then Jesus said...... 'give to the poor'.

I'm assuming that you all who are reading this can understand with me that what is meant by 'give to the poor' is not a cop out for 'give to the poor in 'spirit' ' and skip the sacrifice so that I can go for a round at the links and witness to my friend at the country club.

I'm assuming that you can read Jesus' words for what they were.....

Your body your mind your emotion and soul ...... "give to the poor"




Mark 10 NIV
post script ... I got clearance from individuals to share these views/experiences 'on Winnipeg' before I wrote them down.

...... a novel.

And a quick stop off at home to say goodbye to family and friends then back to the bay to 'back woods' 'the giant'.

......I just painted .....

So I drifted the rails to Chi-town to listen to some 'cool toons' and ponder under an afternoon streetlight at the simple love of my brothers hippie/punk commune.

...... well then maybe .......

Then I got fed up with the pretentious art scene and left for South Ont and a family get together.

If pictures paint a thousand words

I was in Montreal for 1 week

My mind is still full of Montreal. I loved it's busy but distracted energy, its distain for functionalism and the way I could make friends with people with out them saying "What the hex happened to your hair?". Currently I'm in Toronto which right now feels like a smarter version of Calgary. I'm not trying to be pretentious (remember I live in Tbay-o (which is as good a place as any))but I really enjoy history, art and interesting people and there seemed to be an eclectic gathering of each of these in this city. However, now with my head a muddle from ....

conversations with A Guinean fashion designer, a developmental graduate from Kentucky/Sweden, a young native activist/artist and an Iranian human rights lobbyist

Great literature from.....

C.S. Lewis, 'Che' Guevara and an anarchist bookstore I stumbled upon

as well as a thousand thousand words given through works in .......

the Montreal museum of fine art and museum of modern art

I think I'm ready to sit in a quiet place and process the many ways, words and images I've had the pleasure of experienc.

When I first realized the caliber of the art that I would be seeing in one of the museums (Monet, van Gogh) I decide I would spend some good time with a piece of art and soak. I also decided that it wasn't going to be a Crucifix (I felt I'd been move more than enough by the old image of death on a cross) but I guess I'm just stubbornly in love with that old deity of Christ.

.... following from my journal....

I saw the most powerful crucifix of my life. I was caught between a respectful sigh and a half smile at this unrealistic but all too familiar image. It had a cartoonish face and figure but held all the vulnerability and sorrow a dieing man is due. There was no clenched bloody fists or aungstful gaze at heaven or earth. It was exactly what the crucifixion was..... unrealistic

"Why are you still so afraid? Do you still have no faith?"

Hitchhiking

Slightly strange form of travel for those that might be slightly strange.
Dangerous ........? maybe
Death wish.........? unlikely

A prophet for modern times and a dear person, I'd like to think could be my friend said.....
...... After I was done with Seminary and "studying" the Bible my class mates and me came to understanding that we didn't actually have to risk our lives for GODs causes we only needed to be "willing" to.
-Heavily paraphrased by me but idea from a lecture by Tony Campolo

I'm into week two of my eastern/greatlakes tour. My travels being due to an exceptionally slow mid summer at the youth centre (I work at) and an insisting itching in my feet. I left last week monday for Montreal with very little belongings and a open plan. Why Montreal.....? mostly because I have two friends summering there and it's as nice a place as any to spend some time in. I had some tentative ideas on how I was going to get to Montreal but also an underling hope for adventure that a three hour flight wouldn't quite complete.

After receiving the personal affirmation I needed from GOD I decided to hitch, believing that.......

What's the point in having an All Powerful GOD if you don't live like you believe it?


So lets raise our communion glasses and risk our lives to the word that ............................when faced with a storm shouted to us the church.....
"Why are you still so afraid!!!!!!? Do you STILL have no faith!!!!!?
-Jesus Mark 4:40

Social Stratification in bits and pieces

"When I stepped out into the bright sunlight from the darkness of the movie house, I had only two things on my mind: Paul Newman and a ride home....."

S.E. Hinton ....... Start and finish to "The Outsiders"

.........one of the most masculine books I've ever read. Seriously had everything; orphaned brothers struggling to survive, knife fights, murder, gang brawls, train hopping, and an epic police shoot out, all in a jubilant but sincere depiction of the struggles of classism.
Then after I was done it, I found out it was written by a seventeen year old girl.

Sometimes I think that girls know more about what makes a good man than a good man knows about himself. That might be complete crap though.



The Update....

It occurred to me that you all might be wondering what I've been up to and so I thought I might give you a short update rather than a rant on social inequality.

I got a new room mate this month. A great gentleman named David Janzen who just competted the International Beard growers competition in Anchorage Alaska and who also has some rather b.a. tats and an exceptionally headless faith. The picture is of the two of us. Oh he was also my partner in my first attempt to bike from Winnipeg to Thunder Bay, .... title name 'Glories defeat'.

This last board meeting I was promoted from Coordinator to Director. Which doesn't change a whole lot except for affirmation from the board and the expectation that I'll be able to implement some longer term plans. Also it'll look radical on a resume.

I've been rather busy over the last month, and my blog writing has apparently gotten the the greater portion of neglect. I've been exceptionally busy finishing fundraisers for a trip that will be paying the way for a group of us to go to a 'Native leadership' conference. A lot of the kids are really excited. It'll be really good to take the a few of them, that are still around Thunder Bay for summer, on a road trip to the central states. That's another thing, the drop has had a lot fewer kids as of late, due to most of them going north to their communities for summer. However they blessed me beyond belief with their fair wells. It was one of the last days of school when we were closing and I had to kick out near 40 kids that were trying to make up any excuse not to leave. There was seriously something so spiritual about a group of kids that didn't know each other a few months ago and now just plane not wanting to leave the community that they had built here.

Unfortunately, once they got back home to their reserves many of their communities were placed under 'lock down' due to 'swine flu'. Its a sick and sad world when 'high society' global travelers can carry a disease that leaches onto the 'already open wound' of people in poverty, while the carriers remain insulated from the curse they carry. The rich and white have their urban health care while we lock the doors on our forced forest ghettos.
I've spoken with a couple of kids in 'Sandy lake' (was on National the other day for four confirmed deaths) and they said that they weren't terribly worried yet, but they knew the people who had died and some kids and adults that where infected.



The book 'the outsiders' (for those of you who don't know) is about a town in the mid to late fifties and street wars between 'Socs' (teenage social elites) and 'greasers' (poorer 'street' kids). I've always loved the idea of 'greasers' vs. 'jock/soc' contention partially because of the quaintness of old time white hoodlums but also because of how 'clean' the conflict is and was. There was no arguments about race or religion just straight up "you're rich and have all the breaks and I hate you for it" and "you're poor and hopeless and I'm going to make sure you know it". Classism.

I don't think that those who have money acknowledge or even know how huge an economic divide there is. Or just how meaningful money is. I hate saying that but it's true, that money honestly does make and take lives. In so many ways I'm still so ignorant to the power and affluence that I've been born into, or even understand how much of a struggle it is to move up the social ladder.

Here's a quote from the book...
"It wasn't fair for the Socs to have everything. We were as good as they were: it wasn't our fault we were greasers. I couldn't just take it or leave it, or ignore it and love life anyway, or harden myself beyond caring, or actually enjoy it. I felt the tension growing inside of me and I knew something had to happen or I would explode...... I can't take it much more, I'll kill myself or something ... I got to do something. It seems like there's gotta be someplace without greasers or Socs, with just people Plain ordinary people"

The Church should be that place.

The other day I was at a powwow and was introduced to someone by a mutual friend. She smiled politely and said ..."I don't talk to white people."

The Soc and Greaser divide is a elementary example of how deep a rift there is between privileged and underprivileged and how much more contention there could be over ethnicity and generational systematic oppression. It's an example how needed the church is to speak 'OUR MESSAGE OF THE ENORMITY OF GRACE' to this Huge human hurt through divide. And then, in hope, the ENORMITY OF GRACE OFFERED BACK in forgiveness and reconciliation.





ps I didn't really know who Paul Newmon was but here's a link to a scene, http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vb1d017bgsk&NR=1 , Truly Historic!!!

When clouds gather over good growth.

First off, this entry is incredibly over due and will definitely lack the requisite passion put forward by hasty words.

I want to accurately explain the pain that I've witnessed in the recent months. I've had a number of men open up with me in huge ways over the last while and it's sincerely awful to know how much a broken up family can destroy Men's lives. Men made to 'fix', 'provide' and built to 'help' that now need to fight in every way this 'good' that they can't seem to construct. I know explaining this won't ever put those feelings in you but if you can remember, make up or conger your feelings the first time you watched a powerful man cry, its similar.

Two things

The first is, prayer and GOD's graces to a member of my fellowship who just now after 9 years from the passing of his significant other is able and ready to move on. The big HS showed up and helped out in our last Bible study, but theres so much forgiveness needed for ones self, after years of dwarfed growth in self pity. But good things to those who face and heal their wounds.

The second, my dear friend Chico, whom many of you have come to know, has hit a rough spell again. Four days ago he had a dream that customs was going to find and haul him off. Three days ago that happened. He's really not doing that well and if you'd like to send some prayers his way that would be very necessary. He's in a detention centre right now and is seriously facing deportation. Regardless of his children being Canadian citizens. It really doesn't look good, they hauled him off in cuffs and it's not often that Federals step back on initial actions.


The worst thing

I think that if Pol Pot or John Wayne Gacy or any other notoriously awful men had had a conversion experience at the end of their lives they might feel worse but right now the hugest hurt I have ever seen, to date, is that of a man needing to acknowledge that the best thing for those he loves most is his absence.

Graduation

Academia, the apple of my eye! ....................if only for a weekend.

To Steinbach Bible College and the pursuit of learned wisdom, at a Mennonite policy and price.

"It doesn't matter how slowly you go it's that you go" - Lao Zi

I try to remember this when I remember the truth that it's taken me 5 years to complete a 2 year diploma at my motherlands great state to faith, SBC. In all honesty though, I have no regrets at half a decade to travel/work/ministry/life in community and pretty much any other portion of the last 5 years.

I've just returned from one of the most SBC-y highs of my life.

The encourage fest started out with an alumni brunch and a friend playing the fiddle to the most classic of worship songs. Then I went with my parents and sister (the one in Canada) to a banquet for four In which I was honored to have Dr. Hiebert give a short outro to my on and off, love affair with the school. FIVE years of bantering in and out of Bridal school halls and my dear, but still SISTER was my date..... A bitter hearted HURRAH for a life of spiritual celibacy. I could really appreciate the evening though and could totally see the spiritual in several hundred gathered in faith and good company. I suppose it's been a while.

Then on Sunday the 26th, the Graduation. I spent the good portion of the time schpat-ing with Russ Reimer and catching up with Blaine Dueck. Its a little known fact that some of the best men in the world live in Belize. Then it was my turn to shake hands and smile at the crowd. Unfortunate for me, I was one of the few that didn't make it to the rehearsal and unfortunate for everyone else, I was the first up to receive my diploma. I jumped the gun and went for the stage before my name was called. Apparently I was supposed to wait in line until I was formerly addressed; it was fine and funny. Then after the cerimony I shook a line of eternal handshakes with well wishing strangers. Which was fine and fun.

One day later I was back in Thunder Bay and expecting a visit from a crew of my fellow grads and students. Every year there's a group of musicians and actors, from the school, that write a musical and then tour with it in one direction. This year they came East, and I booked them in 'the bay'. The highlight of the evening, for me, was when Malcolm Monro (from split lake northern MB) busted 3 testimonial tracks. The guys rapped his faith story.... seriously ill! The drama with musical interludes was terribly emotional and seriously awesome. Then the rest of the evening the crew of 15 student performers dispersed and mingled with the kids. I've often wondered at how well unassuming Aboriginal people seem to mesh with non-confrontational Anabaptists.

Then, today, I received a line of intense hugs and a gave a prayerful goodbye.

There's something deep in my blood, about my people. Its a complicated kindness and a peace that describes many.

So in the end of this Bible blaster chapter; I have a paper stating my diploma, my mind as affected and infected as I've allowed, a hoard of 'likewise' friends to spend the rest of my life making Mennonite connections to and two mugs with my school name on them.

Thanks LORD.

The kind of pain that sits below the heart and just behind the lungs and doesn't feel like it will ever leave

I want to start at the end of Jonah. The great vomited missionary had just forgotten the lesson we love to remember. A whole Nation State, One Hundred Twenty Thousand repentant people brought to their knees at the very first words of GOD. Then after seeing the power of GOD in repentant people, finds himself in a cranky place east of Nineveh. All it took was his withered shad on a hot day for him to wish against his life.

Then these words from GOD.....
"You're troubled by this vine that you did nothing for. But you've forgotton the Thousands of people in town that still don't know right from wrong, shouldn't I be concerned about them?"



I'm trying to speak about emotion beyond a cranky mood. A while ago I said, in a sulky mood "Every time I feel like crap I think about the millions of people that have a hundred more reasons to fell like crap. People who suffer moral evil.......failed marriages, loss of children, abusive relationships, a thousand harmful addiction.... people who suffer Natural Evil ..... famine, disaster, drought, disease and ultimately poverty. Then I feel even more like crap and can't believe my selfish reclusion."

I want to finish this message but right now I need to gather my thoughts.
(2 days break)
Alright I'm back to finish my thoughts.....

Over the past several days GOD has been busting people wide open right next to me. I've been praying for this for a while and I'm glad I'm getting to a lot of heart issues with a couple friends, out here. HURT is basically the big issue that many of them are facing and how to deal with that hurt.

Today I was speaking in a church about the 'drop in' and a lady that was listening said that as soon as I started speaking her hand started hurting. She said that a while ago her hand was cut pretty bad but it healed and it hadn't hurt in a really long time; until I started talking, then she said it was throbbing. She interpreted this as prophecy that while I'm working at the 'drop in' there will be a lot of people that will look fine and feel healed but that the pain will come back.

There's a couple of friends that I've met, in town, that are here with 'sobering up programs', that found their way into alcohol through huge human hurt. I can understand and sympathize (not condone) getting 'hammed' to cover up unexplainable pain (suicide, family violence (stuff that no person should have to live through)). The kind of pain that sits below the heart and just behind the lungs and doesn't feel like it will ever leave. The sort of hurt that's humanly devastating and not just a personally interpreted.

As I said, I can understand getting 'ham faced' when it's covering huge human hurt (death and disillusion). But I can't comprehend 'good time drunks', that have a relatively healthy life but just want to have fun fast; that's just ecstasy gluttony.

A few words on Chico

Well a number of months ago I introduced to you a fellow that was quickly introduced to me.
Chico!!!
Now I've realized that, introducing an amazing man with an amazing story, needs an amazing amount of follow up.
One more note of amazingness. Really cool how many of you want updates on his story and how much his stories have touched you all.

I was able to visit with this good man today at 'the farm' (medium security prison). Yes he is currently in prison and was sentenced near a month ago. Sorry for the delayed update. The sentencing went really well, the judge was very deliberate and took a great deal of time considering his case and showed a lot emotion in his final verdict. The verdict it's self was 5 months (comes to only 3 months) jail and 18 months probation!!! Which is pretty much the best that we all could have hoped for. So back to my visit with the fellow today. He was in really good spirits and said that his jail time would be a breeze. He's pretty enigmatic and I guess found some friends on the inside.

I don't know how all of your Easters went but mine was truly heartfelt. For some reason the joint emotion and sacrificial suffering, in the lead up to Good Friday, meant something big to me this year.

It may be easter Sunday but Sunday's still coming!!!!

People for People.

Hey all, I was featured a couple weeks ago in a article/event night that was held at a local church. It was really great. Check it http://peoplecafe.wordpress.com/. It was mostly an interview that I had with some people from the church. Info on what's up and how things are going.......


Here's just one of the many interesting questions asked........ (actually I sound kind of self inflated, either way read about how arrogant I am then.......)

How do you think your work will impact Thunder Bay in say, five years?

Scott: Thunder Bay is exploding in Aboriginal population, double the birthrate of people of European descent in Canada, and in Thunder Bay it’s so obvious. Native people are moving into the city left and right, and it’s a rough transition for some of these kids, being apart from their family. Boarding parents are alright, but they’re only here for a few months so they don’t really plug in. And a lot of these kids come into the city kind of confused and are expected to pull off really decent grades to keep their funding to stay in the city, and just on their own do homework and keep up with their studies and stay out of trouble when there’s just a mass of confused youth all in the city together. And they’re expected to keep out of trouble and all they’re given for entertainment for a week is like twenty bucks or something. And there’s just not so many great activities to keep them occupied while they’re here, so many of them end up dropping out and have to leave. So transitional community is really needed for so many of the kids ‘cause it’s really easy to get distracted…

Chico ... life and times

Hey everyone, I just wanted you to all know a little more of what's going on with Chico. He's going for his sentencing this coming Monday the 9th with a follow up sentencing possibly on the 11th He seems to be really on edge lately and has been having anxiety issues and awful dreams relating to the trial and his fas approaching future. As of this point he's willing to take whatever the sentence will be and seems okay with doing some (hopefully) short time so that he can get out an onwith his life, and hopeful role in parenting his daughter. We've been having some of the best conversations lately and he is really conectin in crucial way with some of the vounteers. So many life questions!!!(He's Sooo Hungry and so close).

I know you all have3 been praying like mad for Chico, I can totally see so much that has happened because of it and ultimately GOD's work Please keep it up, especially Monday.